Why it’s ok to be alone on Valentine’s Day

My husband and I are in separate beds tonight.

Don’t worry. It’s probably not what you think.

He is leading a trip to Quebec with some of his students. International borders separate us on this Valentine’s Day. And that’s ok.

Don’t get me wrong, of course I miss him. But not because of the day it is, but because of the man he is.


While Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are quickly filling up with sweet, romantic gestures, I have had to remind myself that what happens, or doesn’t happen, on this day does not define me.

This day doesn’t define how loved you are.

Your value is not measured by the flowers you get, fancy dinner you eat, or sweet cards you receive.


If you went through today without an instagrammable moment, it is more than ok; you are not alone!  (If you happened to have beautiful moments captured on your iPhone…that’s wonderful!  Continue to share them and let people celebrate the lovely times with you!  But the rest of us that didn’t might need a little reminder that we aren’t the only ones.)

My day consisted of:
-sending my husband off to the airport at 1:00 am
-being awake with a little girl who didn’t want to sleep from 2:30 to 4:00 this morning
-a drive to Nashville with a crying baby and overly excited dog to stay with my parents while Spencer is away
-wearing sweats all day and having spit up on me for the majority of it
-chasing the dogs down the street in the rain after they got out of the fence
-spending a few minutes here and there trying to help unpack boxes (my parents moved last weekend)
-being alone with Katherine and 3 dogs while everyone works tonight
-a dog peeing on the couch beside me
-a dinner of an apple, Special K bar, and some thin mints (because I couldn’t put a certain fussy little girl down long enough to make something)
-and ending the day sleeping alone on a futon

I’m not complaining. Just being honest, being real. Not so romantic, eh? Social media has a way of isolating people by its masquerade. It has a way of making you feel like you’re not good enough, like you’re missing out, or like you must be doing something wrong.


But it is not what happens on this one, certain, overly commercialized day, it’s what happens on the ordinary days that matter.

It’s what happens in the ordinary that lasts, thats truly significant.  

Because it’s on those days when things aren’t going perfectly and you receive an encouraging word from a friend that makes all the difference.  It’s on those days when you feel overwhelmed by the laundry, meals to cook, and house to clean and the Lord speaks His truth through the Scriptures directly to your tired heart that lets you know that you are enough.  It’s on those days that you feel like you are looking like a hot mess and your husband comes home from work and tells you that you’re beautiful and your heart melts and tears form in your eyes and you know you are treasured and loved.

It’s the little acts of kindness, the simple encouraging word, the pieces of Daily Bread you take in, the lovely smiles and sweet hugs, the tender moments found amongst the chaos of mundane routine that are scattered throughout the year that add up to so very much.


So, if you feel tempted to go to bed discouraged, sad, or forgotten, dwell on those slices of sweet love given to you throughout the year, on the ordinary days. Dive into the Word and be reminded of where your identity truly lies. Be encouraged and uplifted by the love shown to you throughout the year from your family and friends and God.

And just know that you are loved.  You are valued.  You are enough.